Posts Tagged bad writer
If you’ve been following this blog for the fiction, please go visit my new site, I’m Also a Novelist. You’ll get all the creativity and none of the leftist heathen posturing. (Except for the extent to which my fiction is full of leftist heathen posturing, so…the more things change.)
The Words is the second movie I’ve seen in which Bradley Cooper plays a guy who wants to be a novelist but is having a difficult time getting started. In both movies, his character cheats in some way to get over the initial hump, but in Limitless, at least the creativity is his. Oh, and Limitless is not a waste of two perfectly good hours.
The lessons of The Words are, basically:
1. The publishing industry is so fucked up that it kind of, sort of, forces otherwise well-meaning writers to plagiarize.
2. Always save duplicate copies of your manuscript, even if you don’t keep them all in safe places.
Also: Jeremy Irons needs to learn a better American accent. Dude, if you don’t like the way we sound, then don’t play us in movies.
There is not enough booze in the world to deal with this.
Y’all had better appreciate this video; I was up until midnight filming, editing and uploading it. This morning was a shit show because I was so short on sleep.
Here are the selected highlights. Someone actually put these words together, and someone else actually decided to run them in a magazine and pay Ms. Wurtzel for her troubles.
To all the visitors today reading my previous post about Elizabeth Wurtzel: I am now reading her latest word salad in NY Mag, brought to my attention by Amanda Marcotte at Slate, and holy shit, it is a doozy. And when I say “doozy,” I mean: I am becoming stupider by reading this.
Expect a longer reaction tonight, if I don’t drink myself into a coma first.
Specifically, I’m asking my fellow writers what they want in notebooks.
If you use physical notebooks for writing and/or planning your novels—or for doing anything else, for that matter—what features do you want to see in those notebooks? Size and page count? Divisions and sections? Cover designs? Headers and footers? Witty quotes used periodically throughout page block?
Tell me what you like to see. If someone designed a notebook just for you, what would it look like?
I’m working on another video. It won’t be ready tonight, but it’s in process.
The weekend was fun because I put together some shiny things to go with Book 4. For example, I set up a new soundtrack at Grooveshark.
I have recently discovered Haiku Deck, so this happened:
Wendy Gittleson at Addicting Info shows us this…charming letter from someone named Frank Sarlato, who publishes the Niagara Falls Reporter and will be having none of those “modern movies” with “prominent female characters” reviewed in his fine upstanding paper. This happened, folks:
when my boys were young i would never have allowed them to go to such a film for i believe it would injure their developing manhood. if i would not let my own sons see it, why would i want to publish anything about it?
snow white and the huntsman is trash. moral garbage. a lot of fuzzy feminist thinking and pandering to creepy hollywood mores produced by metrosexual imbeciles.
I don’t want to publish reviews of films where women are alpha and men are beta.
where women are heroes and villains and men are just lesser versions or shadows of females.
i believe in manliness.
not even on the web would i want to attach my name to snow white and the huntsman except to deconstruct its moral rot and its appeal to unmanly perfidious creeps.
i’m not sure what headhunter [referring here to Headhunters, a very good non-female starring Norwegian film] has to offer either but of what I read about it it sounds kind of creepy and morally repugnant.
with all the publications in the world who glorify what i find offensive, it should not be hard for you to publish your reviews with any number of these.
they seem to like critiques from an artistic standpoint without a word about the moral turpitude seeping into the consciousness of young people who go to watch such things as snow white and get indoctrinated to the hollywood agenda of glorifying degenerate power women and promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.
the male as lesser in courage strength and power than the female.
it may be ok for some but it is not my kind of manliness.
If you care to write reviews where men act like good strong men and have a heroic inspiring influence on young people to build up their character (if there are such movies being made) i will be glad to publish these.
i am not interested in supporting the reversing of traditional gender roles.
i don’t want to associate the Niagara Falls Reporter with the trash of Hollywood and their ilk.
it is my opinion that hollywood has robbed america of its manliness and made us a nation of eunuchs who lacking all manliness welcome in the coming police state.
now i realize that you have a relationship with the studios etc. and i would have been glad to have discussed this in person with you to help you segue into another relationship with a publication but inasmuch as we spent 50 minutes on the phone from paris i did not want to take up more of your time.
In short i don’t care to publish reviews of films that offend me.
if you care to condemn the filmmakers as the pandering weasels that they are…. true hyenas.
i would be interested in that….
I just watched the second two Lord of the Rings movies and I can’t read this without picturing some shriveled, Palpatine-like character crouching in a cave and gurgling out these words in a Gollum-esque growl. I find Gollum about as scary as a baby koala throwing a tantrum. (This makes me weird, I know.)
Or maybe Mr. Burns from The Simpsons would be a more appropriate face to put on this guy’s misogynist nuttery.
Charlinder has no patience for Frankie’s love of “manliness.” Claudia Bowen points and laughs. As for Book 4…Scanlon would like to introduce you to Andra. You haven’t seen her yet. But she is ferocious.
Because Virgin Mobile has glitched my wifi account yet again, I am currently unable to get online at home. I will be able to get online once I make a phone call to tech support, but I haven’t done that because it would take time away from my NaNo-Do-Mo’ fun. Ergo, there was no Sunday Storytime this week. I’m thinking of just ditching my VM account and using outside venues for net access until I think of something else. I hate Comcast, but I’m sick of wrestling with VM.
I’m enjoying NaNo, however.
We in the mid-Atlantic region expect to get slammed by the Frankenstorm over the next few days, and with that in mind, I am just a little bit preoccupied to dig up a Storytime segment. I’ll be fine here in my little Monstercave, but I’m trying to figure out where to park my car that’s not at risk of falling trees.
Anyway. I’ve decided to join in the fun of NaNoWriMo, but not with the goal of writing 50K words on a new novel in 30 days. I’m going to keep on working on Book 4, and possibly Fait Accompli, to the tune of 500 words per day or more. Among my planned activities for being stuck inside with the crazy weather is to set up a writing nook. I have everything I need to start here already.
Also, I just recently bought iFontMaker for iPad, which makes me dangerous. I’m determined to separate that from the Writing Nook Area, however, by listing the stylus as one of the artifacts which is not allowed in the same room as the nook. If I try to make fonts in the same place that I make stories, I will never get any work done.
It’s so easy to pick on Santorum, but if he doesn’t want me throwing shit at him, then he should retire.
Dude, I mean…WTF? Seriously? You saw fit to write this down on a piece of paper and allow it to follow a book to press?
Santorum thinks the modern day world could learn a thing or two from what happened centuries ago.
“Today we are facing a threat to the very foundation our founders laid,” writes Santorum. “That threat does not come from an alien force but from those who are willing and determined to abandon the concept of God-given rights. Like the royalty during the Revolution, today’s elites wish to return to the pre-Revolutionary paradigm in which they, through governmental force, allocate rights and responsibilities.”
If you would use the power of government to force women to make babies they don’t want, you don’t get to complain about the government allocating rights and responsibilities.
And about that “pursuit of happiness” thing? Santorum gives it an edit.
“Did God give us the right to pursue a good time? Don’t get me wrong—happiness is a wonderful emotion and a state to be desired. But is that what our founders really intended to be the pursuit of our country and its people—to be happy? Let’s put it this way: How would you like your tombstone to read, ‘Here lies [your name]. He/she was happy’? Count me out! Isn’t life supposed to be more significant than that? Let’s face it—many of life’s pleasures are not even good for us, as my waistline constantly reminds me.”
I think I just shed a few IQ points from reading that.
Does anyone else notice how the first question about “God” somehow morphs into the second question about “our founders”? Are we talking about what God gives us permission to do, or what our nation’s founders intended? It’s creepy and weird to conflate the two.
To answer your larger question: if you don’t find pleasure in the things that make your life significant, then in my opinion, you need to seek significance in other things. If significance is in opposition to happiness, then something has gone wrong.
For example, this may be strange in a writer, but I find pleasure in revising my book after getting feedback from an editor. There is real satisfaction in hunting down extraneous punctuation and trimming clumsy sentences. You might want to think about that, Santorum. I don’t think you’re using a ghostwriter, so perhaps you could hire a better editor.
One last thing: I don’t ever want to hear about Santorum’s waistline again.
Alyson Miers is the author of Charlinder’s Walk.